What Not To Do When Trying To Win Your Ex Back

In the early aftermath of a breakup, you always have options for doing things to get your ex back, just as there are certain things you must avoid to keep from permanently damaging your relationship. Many times it's the things we think would be helpful that are exactly what we should stay away from, but at such an emotional time it's difficult to think clearly about what to do next.

Following a breakup, you should avoid these three traps.

1. Don't be clingy. If you attempt to hang around your ex just after a break-up and not give them time and space on their own to access things, you will be doing a lot of damage. If you decide to be clingy or place make your ex have to deal with extra emotions they will get exhausted and your actions will verify their decision to leave you. You need some space away from the relationship, too, this will give you the time you need to think about a plan for how to win your ex back.

2. Avoid telling them you will change. No matter what lead to the break-up, do not promise your ex that you will change. First of all, it is a very hollow promise. Second of all, no one can change in just a few hours. Promises like this sound just like a child who keeps saying "I won't do it again," and aren't going to make you look good to your ex. It may be best to tell your ex that they were wise to break up, and then put some distance between the two of you. You may very well do some changing then, but change needs to be demonstrated and this can be done later.

3. Don't send flowers. No matter what the ads say about sending flowers, when you break up it is not a good idea. You do not want to send any kind of "make-up" gifts right away. Flowers are appropriate as an apology when you forget an anniversary, but they just look desperate after a breakup and this approach should be avoided. Lay off on the gifts, maybe send a simple note with a very simple plain apology and leave it at that for now.

It's hard to take contain yourself at first, but if you do it may help your chances for repairing the relationship in the long run. I advise you to trust the advise here, as it is proven, and simply stay away for a while. Once you have done this in a few days you will see that you can think more clearly and will be in a much better position to win your ex back to stay.

If you are still in the very early stages of a break-up, do give up hope. You can still win your ex back, even if you've been behaving badly.

How much do they really mean to you? If you answered "very much," then you need to take time to think about a way to save your relationship.